Many people struggle with loneliness; but solitude can be enjoyed rather than dreaded. It is healthy in the right amounts, and you can learn to embrace it to come out mentally healthier on the other side.
You might be thinking, sure, solitude is great when you need it, and also when you aren’t forced into it. But it only takes a mindset shift to see it from another perspective.
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Other Humans Drain Our Energy
If you think about it, dealing with other humans can be downright stressful. Unless you are an extreme extrovert, you are probably aware that alone time is needed every day or at least every week. Even if you are an extrovert, your energy interacting with others’ energy is exactly that; energy. We have to adjust our behaviors according to other people, we have to respond and react to them, and we have to deal with the negative behavior others throw at us.
In order to have a mind of our own, we need time on our own. We need time away from the constant input of others thoughts, opinions, and demands. Having a community is healthy, but it’s all about balance. We’re safer in a herd, but is our soul happier? We need the balance of community and solitude.
Finding Yourself Through Solitude and Retreat
The modern world is not set up for our soul’s happiness. Too much of us is demanded from everyone we come into contact with. To make matters worse, we are expected to act like this doesn’t bother us. Interacting with other people not only sucks our energy dry, it moves us further and further away from who we are as a person.
There are many examples of this, especially obvious in the situation of a breakup, with needing to spend time alone to “find yourself’ again.” Just think of how amazing the word “retreat” sounds. Who wouldn’t want some time away from everyone and the world to just simply be? Retreat centers were made for the purpose of finding yourself again.
Quiet the Mind to Hear the Soul
Regular times of solitude are essential for your health in all areas, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Being immersed constantly in a busy chaotic world will drain you on all levels. There is a reason monks and other spiritual practitioners study in silence, live in monasteries, spend time in a cave or a mountain away from society. Living down here amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life clouds our minds because we are so immersed in it.
Silence and solitude makes way for our soul to emerge. It only speaks in whispers, and feelings, and intuition. Those things are hard to hear, comprehend, and feel, unless we really listen. We must quiet the mind, quiet our surroundings, and tune in to the void. The void is the only place we are able to hear.
Answers to your problems might be just under the surface of your mind, but are unable to emerge because it is taking all your mental processes to function in everyday life. Bills, coworkers, in-laws, appointments, toxic people, commercials aimed to get your money, news aimed to make you fearful of the world; it’s no wonder the whisper of your soul is unable to be heard. And even if it was heard, how do you have time to sort through what it’s saying and make any sense of it?
This is why solitude is healthy and necessary in our lives. Most people will not create it, though. This is why we need to recognize the gift of solitude and silence when we experience it. Even if you don’t live alone, this is something you should try to create for yourself. Below I will give some practical tips and ways you can find solitude whether you are living alone or stuck in a house with someone (or many someones!)
Ways To Create and Enjoy Solitude
Wake up early or go to bed later than the rest of the people in your household. Being awake at an odd time is soothing to the soul, especially if it is very early morning or very late at night. This is a magical time, and if you don’t have a schedule, take advantage of these quiet hours.
Limit your time with technology. Get your news every day and stay in touch with loved ones, but then don’t get sucked into Facebook for hours, or watching every news channel until you are mindlessly numb. Social media is full of fake news and fear-mongering conspiracy theories. Get your news from reputable sources, and limit your time on social media, or cut it out altogether for a day or two, just to see how you feel.
Take an extra long shower or bath. Listen to calming music. Take your time. Pamper yourself.
Go for a walk every day, alone. Not only is it encouraged right now, but it is healthy. Breathe deeply, and really take in the scenery. Try not to listen to music, just enjoy the sounds of nature. Unless you live in a large noisy city; in that case, listening to an audiobook or calming meditation would work nicely.
If you drive to work, don’t listen to anything in the car. Give your mind some time to stretch. Not only will it make you a more attentive driver, it will calm you and ease your mind from any pressure or stress.
Make a private space for yourself in a room nobody else goes into. Or, if you have to, use your closet (if it’s large enough!). Closets are extra quiet and secluded, and make a perfect place to meditate or read a book.
Start a spiritual book study practice. Pretend you’re a monk in a monastery only you are allowed to study whatever you would like. There are countless spiritual texts out there and you don’t have to follow a certain religion to read any of these. They are great for expanding your mind and getting you to see life in different ways.
When eating a meal, chew slowly, sit in silence, and look out the window. Or even better yet, eat outside if you are able to. This will also have amazing benefits on your digestion. When you eat in a stress-free quiet environment, your body assimilates the food better.
Start a journal. Daily journaling is one of the healthiest things you can do for your mind and your soul. A gratitude journal is a nice place to start if you are a beginner. Or simply do a brain dump and get your thoughts out onto paper. This is so therapeutic, it cannot be recommended too much. I have a gratitude journal available on Etsy and it’s perfect for beginners.
Go on a fast. Abstaining from food for as little as 16 hours can do wonders for your mind and body. Going longer will give you even more benefits, but 16 hours is a great time frame to start with. And what better time to experiment with this than when you are stuck at home every day. I have a blog post goes more into detail about the mental and physical benefits of fasting.
The best thing about these ten suggestions is they are free, unless you purchase some books, which will add priceless value to your life. And by staying home and nurturing your soul, you will even save money! (Especially if you go on a fast and eat less food!)
In conclusion, no matter what your situation is, you can benefit from a healthy dose of solitude in your life. If you aren’t working right now and live alone, cherish this gift of time in solitude. And if you are working and living with others, ease the stress of the modern world and all the problems that continue to bombard us by following these suggestions to create more solitude in your life.
Times when you are in solitude are the best times to work on your life purpose. Check out this article to learn How To Find Your Life Purpose
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