Why It's So Hard to Change ⋆ Holistic Lifestyle Guide

Almost every human understands that change is hard. It’s much easier to think about changing than it is to actually change. Life can be a challenge to get through, and some days we are lucky to even survive.

When we are stuck in survival mode, there isn’t much room for anything else. To make that worse, many people are simply unaware that they have the power to change.

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Bad habits grab a hold of us and keep us stuck in the same spot. Our egos don’t want us to change because it wants to survive and it wants you to survive. It wants what is known and comfortable.

This is why changing your life is so hard. This is why most people live in such a way that perpetuates more of the same, often without consciously choosing it.

How Change Happens

So, how can we actually change? In order to change, a few things have to happen first.

Awareness is the first thing that must happen. What does this look like? First, we must look at what being unaware looks like.

Being unaware is when someone goes through the motions of life as they were raised or conditioned. This is sometimes referred to as being unconscious, metaphorically speaking. It is also sometimes called being asleep, or sleepwalking through life.

Not only do we keep making the same choices over again, and keep having the same thoughts over again, but we aren’t even aware that we are stuck in this pattern. Or we may be aware of the pattern but think it’s normal.

Even worse, when people think it’s normal, they don’t realize that if only they change their thinking, they can change their life much easier! Then we aren’t at the mercy of random circumstances to shake up our lives for us.

Examples of living unconsciously are:

Eating the same meals your mother made, using the same ingredients. This is not necessarily a bad thing for some traditional meals to be passed down, but it is a bad thing when all you eat are the same 5-10 meals that you were raised on, using the same ingredients every single time.
Rarely leaving your town, always going to the same store, etc.
Hanging out with the same group of friends, especially when you have some toxic friendships or aren’t feeling fulfilled by these friendships. It’s fine to have life-long friends, but the key here is whether or not those friendships are good for you, not just spending time with them because you don’t know anyone else and it’s better than not having any friends at all.
General close-minded thinking, being stuck in the same thought patterns your whole life.
Thinking you know everything there is to know about a subject, or in general.
Having the same bad habits for years, not realizing they are bad or not having an interest in stopping them. This can include smoking, drinking, gambling, poor diet and lifestyle behaviors, compulsive behaviors, drug use, etc.
Not really knowing what personal growth means, or thinking it’s only for “smart” people, spiritual people, or entrepreneurs. This split in your mind will keep you from even thinking you can improve.
Staying at the same job for years even when it doesn’t fulfill you

Now let’s look at what it would look like to live consciously, or with awareness. Some examples include:

Being conscious of what you put into your body, altering recipes to be healthier, learning to find new recipes or foods that are good for you that you never ate before
Traveling and learning about different places, cultures, and ways of life, going to new places in your local area
Continuing education (online or in-person courses, etc.), having a never-ending quest for knowledge
Being conscious of bad habits, trying to stop old ones and develop new ones
Broadening your circle of friends
Being on a journey to find and live your life purpose
Realizing that you have the power to change your life and create it however you want.

The second step to making changes in your life, after becoming conscious and aware, is not so much a step but a phase to go through. That is the phase of becoming actually ready to change. This phase is hard and may take years, even decades.

I’ve come to realize that there are 2 main reasons why most people get stuck in this stage for so long;

It’s easier to make a comfortable choice that benefits you right now, than it is to make an uncomfortable change that won’t benefit you until some day in the future.

AND

Change doesn’t happen until we’ve suffered enough so that the uncomfortableness of having to change seems more desirable than the pain of staying the same.

So how do you get out of this rut?

Once you become aware and conscious that you should change, and the pain of staying the same becomes too great, change can finally happen.

Once you reach this point where you start making changes and gain momentum, it’s like a snowball effect. It will be hard to go back to your old way of being. Improving your life in every way will just naturally progress.

There are a few things you can do to help move things along:

Getting Things In Writing

Another key to making change easier is using a planner and/or journal. I am a huge advocate of both of these in helping people make changes in their life. Expressing yourself through writing, having a written action plan and using a tracker will increase your chances of success with anything!

The products I create and sell on Etsy are printable workbooks, planners, journals, and checklists designed specifically to make changes easily (and to make it fun!) By using these products, you are able to hold yourself accountable while maintaining the motivation and inspiration to continue until you reach your goal. Visit my Etsy shop here.

Meditation

One of the few things you can do to improve all areas of your life (body, mind, and soul) is meditation. When you meditate, you learn to train the mind and reach a state of “no-mind”. In this state, you become the real you, the one who is observing all of your thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, and actions.

You aren’t analyzing or judging, you’re simply observing. You can see yourself from a higher perspective, therefore you can get out of the state of identification with your human body and into the state of realization of your soul.

In this state, you become a powerful creator. It becomes easy to make changes when you have a clear intention to do it from this place. Dr. Joe Dispenza goes further in depth with changing your life through meditation.

How close are you to being ready to change?

You might be ready to change now, or you might be a few steps back. But it’s important to remember that there is no wrong place to be. Even if you aren’t aware of the way you live your life and don’t improve, that is where you are meant to be.

Everyone is at a different stage in their journey of development and evolution.. So don’t feel guilty if you have no desire to improve your life or realize you are still stuck in the beginning stage. I was stuck in that stage for far too long…

I was stuck in sleepwalking mode for about 30 years of my life. I stayed at the same unfulfilling job for nearly 20 years (and then bounced around to about 13 more unfulfilling jobs after that). I didn’t have hobbies, I just spent most of my free time drinking. I ate the same food my mom fed me. I didn’t hop on a plane for a proper vacation until I was in my mid 30’s. I didn’t want to learn anything, thinking since I graduated high school, that was good enough. I hung out with a lot of “friends” just because I didn’t want to sit home and do nothing. I chased after the wrong relationships. I never read books. I chased after relationships to make me feel loved. I was often depressed (no wonder!).

And now…

I’ve quit drinking and started eating right. I have more hobbies than I have time to enjoy (not a bad problem to have, really!). I travel as much as possible, even going alone if I have to (being alone is better than spending time with the wrong people). I am constantly learning new things and making myself a better human being. I’m happy being single for the first time in my life. I’m living my life purpose working from home helping others change their lives in the same way I’ve changed mine! And best of all; I’ve never been happier!

In Conclusion

I understand that change is hard, and I understand the reasons why you have struggled changing your life for the better. Only you can know if you are truly ready to make changes in your life. If you’re not ready, it isn’t your fault. If you are ready, I’m here for you. I’ve been at Point A and made it to Point B, and I’m happy to be your guide on the road to wellness; ready when you are!

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Related article: How to Create New Healthy Habits

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